i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
