I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize