why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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