No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
