yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My feet surprised me
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