i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
