Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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