OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
