just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
