Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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