I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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