i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Can you repeat that, but with context?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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