i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
