What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
my shit smells like andre
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
