I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
