The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just want to make out with him forever
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
