i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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