T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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