awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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