her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
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