It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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