Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I want a musical about memes.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
