its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
