I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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