garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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