Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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