she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize