what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
