I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
