i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
