So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
