I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
