I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
