Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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