Those balls look pretty dangerous.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
