ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
