he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
