'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
