i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
NoShamevember. You game?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
