I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
