It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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