that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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