my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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