Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
