My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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