apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize