Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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