PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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