Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
