The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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