SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
