so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
