So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
