we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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