hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
