What did we do last night that was yellow?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
