we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Randomize