They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She told me I should be a condom model.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
