You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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