Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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