I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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