My friends, they love my intelligence
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
