I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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