so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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